Practice Self-Love – The Best Advice From A Counselor

You might not notice it, but one factor that brings stress, anxiety, and depression to an overboard state is a lack of self-love. It disconnects you from giving your best to cope and overcome life challenges. It makes you lose confidence and self-awareness. It leads you to desperation, emotional instability, and mental pressure. But what exactly is self-love?


Self-love is not just about taking a bath regularly, changing your hair, or buying yourself beautiful clothes. It is not about the attempt to redefine yourself based on what you perceived is changeable. Instead, self-love is the practice of appreciating yourself despite imperfections. It is the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual support you give yourself no matter what. Though it is not a fixed state of mind, its actions surely develop over time and guide you to maturity.

Establishing self-love is not an easy task and can be a long journey, especially when dealing with many emotional and mental struggles. Thus, you need to think about it as a vital step in improving your health and happiness in general. Here are a couple of suggestions that can assist you along the way with your self-love development.

Always Forgive Yourself

One thing that can often lead to severe emotional and mental stress is the habit of always being tough on yourself. There is a struggle deep within that you somehow push your limits to win a battle for perfection. There is too much self-deprecation that takes you away from seeing things from a positive perspective. With that state of mind, you end up overlooking the fact that you are a human that is still incapable of so many things. So instead of getting stuck with so much harshness and self-hate, learn to forgive yourself. Think about the mistakes you make as an opportunity to develop your skills. You can start the process by working on the following:

  • Embracing negative emotions such as anger and frustrations
  • Staying positive by telling yourself that you are still worthy of love and care
  • Understanding the essence of sincere apology not only to others but to yourself as well


Be Mindful Of Your Overall Wellness

Usually, the problem with unstable emotional and mental health comes from the overwhelming things you want to change or achieve in life. There is nothing wrong with that, actually. However, the danger can happen once you set goals that are not entirely what you want or do not involve even the slightest things that make you happy. If what you’re trying to accomplish is only the ones pushed to you by society, you need to have clarity. Thus, be mindful of what you genuinely want to achieve so that you can arm yourself with enough knowledge that you can use to move forward. To practice mindfulness, here are some of the things you can do to take some time to self-reflect.

  • Meditating
  • Keeping a journal
  • Listening to soothing music
  • Going for a walk outside
  • Spending time with nature

Identify The Things That Make You Feel Better

Perhaps you already know what makes you happy. You understand the possible consequences and sacrifices you need to obtain whatever it is that you desire. But sometimes, even if you try harder, it would still feel that your efforts are not worthy enough. Apparently, you shouldn’t worry too much about that because that is normal. You have to be open about the fact that there are things that you cannot have. Therefore, you need to focus on those that can make you feel better and set aside the ones that can make you feel worse. This particular habit of knowing what you need is a form of self-awareness and self-love that contributes a lot to your emotional and mental well-being.


Setup A Healthy Boundary

There are quite a few things that can make you feel uncomfortable and some of those are behaviors that you are not willing to put up with. That is the primary reason why you need to set up boundaries. However, setting up that barrier is not intended to shut down and push people out of your life. Instead, remind yourself that it is a healthy strategy that helps you distinguish what acceptable and restricted behaviors are. Setting up a boundary allows you to protect yourself and filter out some toxic individuals that drain your energy. Here’s a way you can set out a healthy boundary.

  • Figure out what you socially need and start building your restrictions from there
  • Identify your safety requirements so that you can avoid emotional, mental, and physical harm from people you don’t consider getting close with
  • Focus more on understanding and accepting social uncertainties to get rid of fake and manipulating friends or anyone who takes advantage of your well-being.
  • Build your self-esteem by surrounding yourself with good, influenced people.
  • Surround yourself with supportive, loving, and caring people that boost your self-confidence and self-esteem.


Stop Giving A Damn About Everything – Self Improvement Counseling

Are you often emotionally and mentally unstable? Do you understand why you feel so stressed all the time? Have you experienced a sudden spur of negative emotions? Well, if you are under these certain pressures and more, perhaps you do not have that right mindset. That is correct! You are too focused on negative things that you can’t find enough reason to celebrate life. You are preoccupied with so many petty problems that you can’t be truly happy. But why is that?


Unfortunately, everything in your life happens based on the decisions you make. You experience the consequences of your actions, words, and behaviors. That is okay. It is a cycle of life that you have to live through. But please remember, not all things deserve your time, effort, and energy. Therefore, for you to have contentment and live a peaceful and happy life, you should learn how to stop giving a damn about everything.

But note, not giving a damn about things around you does not mean you should avoid and completely ignore the world. You shouldn’t use that mentality to pick on destructive behaviors carelessly. You shouldn’t allow that attitude to control your mental and emotional capabilities. Instead, you should be mindful of what you should and shouldn’t pay attention to. Here are some of the things that might help you understand.


You Don’t Need Approvals.

One significant reason why you may be having a hard time developing your overall wellness is that you consider approval all the time. You believe that other people’s appreciation matters, so you focus more on providing them reasons to like or consider you. You always feel the need of importance that you expect so much of their compliments. You desire positive feedback even if you know it doesn’t entirely help you succeed.

Honestly, there is nothing wrong with that. If that’s what makes you feel good about yourself, then you deserve all the approvals you need. However, the dangerous part of always needing approval is the possible buildup of dependence through the good and comforting words that don’t mean a thing. So how do you know you’re giving too much damn about approval? Here’s some of the list.

  • You make life-changing decisions by consulting or asking people’s opinions first.
  • You always feel the need to respond to other people’s good and bad comments about you despite its ineffective contribution to your daily life.
  • You depend on other people’s fake compliments only to feel good about yourself.
  • You pay attention to what people tell you and follow them thoroughly because you believe that is the right thing to do
  • You crave to be appreciated, only not to feel alone, helpless, and worthless.
  • You chase people’s approvals and push yourself to the extreme even if it does not make you happy.

Actually, there’s a lot of stuff that you can add to that list of negative mentality. However, you might be surprised how much impact does a single approval brings on your overall well-being. Consider this, the more you seek other people’s approval, the more you live in a life that doesn’t entirely belong to you.


Stay In The Present

Giving a damn about everything is genuinely exhausting because you constantly have a lot in your mind. You keep doing things repeatedly despite all of them bringing a negative impact on your mental and emotional well-being. You have to address that and give yourself a break. Live in the present moment and develop the right habits that can contribute to your overall self-improvement. Here are some of the things you can do.

  • Set achievable goals that you care about. Makes sure that it is something that you can commit regularly. Practice time-management
  • Focus on self-care. Pay close attention to your sleeping hours, eating habits, hydration, and physical activities.
  • Stop worrying about things that are not there. Instead, learn to value the moment and start working on things that need immediate resolutions.
  • Genuinely live your life according to your means. For example, don’t spend too much on things you don’t need so you wouldn’t end up selling those you have to keep.
  • Limit the information you share with people around you and stop depending on their sometimes unhealthy but frequent unsolicited advice.
  • Face your fears and believe that you can do it. Then, stumble and learn through your experience.
  • Value your effort and always give your best no matter what
  • Own your thoughts and emotions and use them to build constructive solutions to your problems
  • Build emotional and mental stability and start from within. Value yourself and strive to become the best version of you

Taking a quick evaluation of what needs to be done is an essential part of emotional and mental stability. If you managed to stay in the present, you would understand the significance of being imperfect. You will realize that the complication of life has nothing to do with your ability to move forward, let it all go, and never give a damn about unimportant things.